TODAY'S SHOW!!! ARCHIVES
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ON THIS DAY -
1974, President Richard Nixon announced he would resign following damaging revelations in the Watergate scandal. He later admitted to being a crook, but not a thief...thieves are different.
1876 Thomas A. Edison received a patent for the mimeograph..but even he could not figure out how to get that awful light blue ink off your fingers...also, remember the smell of a mimeographed sheet?
1978 The United States launched Pioneer Venus II, which carried scientific probes to study the atmosphere of Venus. Ironically, back in 1978 I was just old enough to start having dreams that could also be classified as "probing Venus"!
BIRTHDAYS -
Dustin Hoffman is 71, Singer Mel Tillis is 76 and Rikki Rockett from Pioson is 47 today!!
NEWS -
The opening ceremony for the Olympic Games in Beijing finally happened. In what is being billed as the most lavish opening ceremony of all time, thousands of athletes from around the world sang, danced and waved flags in proud support of their native lands. Along with the brilliant spectacle representing most civilized nations of the world, were billions of flag waiving Chines citizens...energetically waiving their red flags..because they would get shot of they didn't.
Ya know how Florida has that cooky reputation for being the state where people go to die? A place overrun with really, really old people running stop signs and falling asleep while they eat? Did you ever stop and ask yourself if the aged were not unfairly categorized in the Sunshine State? This ought to change your mind...this is out of Marathon Florida..Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old grand child sitting on the roof of the car. After spending 15 hours in jail, the woman said she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter. She says she was driving at "snail-speed" and holding the child's leg. I can't wait to get old, I'm going to be the worst old guy Florida has ever seen. Fox news is already hiring an entire department just to cover my shenanigans.
Finally this morning, how do you get 26 stuck cheerleaders out of an elevator? Well, unfortunately since most of they were 16 and 17 years old I can't tell you how I would do it...suffice it to say I could have sold the video of it and retired in Florida early. For 26 cheerleaders in Texas who thought it would be a great idea to test the capacity of the elevator and panicked when it got stuck between floors, this was no girls gone wild video. In fact, several of them panicked to the point that their bladders and bowels let go showering the girls below them with urine and feces...hahaha. You know that the one single cheerleader who originally thought that was a good idea got her ass kicked hard that evening. Do I smell a "26 Cheerleaders, 1 Elevator" Youtube video on the horizon???
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